It doesn't fit in.....

I know it doesn't fit in, but just watch and listen intently. I can be serious every now and again.
There is no yelling, no accusing, no hate and no blame; just talking, pointing out facts and things that should be obvious when there is not a big black book being held up over your eyes.

Carlin's Thoughts for 2007

George Carlin issued his thoughts for 2007 last November and these are a few of my favorites.

- Stop giving me that pop-up ad for classmates.com ! There's a reason you don't talk to people for 25 years. Because you don't particularly like them! Besides, I already know what the captain of the football team is doing these days . . mowing my lawn.

- If you need to shave and you still collect baseball cards, you're a dope. If you're a kid, the cards are keepsakes of your idols. If you're a grown man, they're pictures of men.

- The more complicated the Starbucks order, the bigger the asshole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a "decaf grande half-soy, half-low fat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n'-Low, and one NutraSweet," ooh, you're a huge asshole.

- Just because your tattoo has Chinese characters in it doesn't make you spiritual. It's right above the crack of your ass. And it translates to "beef with broccoli." The last time you did anything spiritual, you were praying to God you weren't pregnant. You're not spiritual. You're just high. (and yes, I have one)

- No more bathroom attendants. After I zip up, some guy is offering me a towel and a mint like I just had sex with George Michael. I can't even tell if he's supposed to be there, or just some freak with a fetish. I don't want to be on your web cam, dude. I just want to wash my hands.

- When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to know in months. "27 Months." "He's two," will do just fine. He's not a cheese. And I didn't really care in the first place.

The rest of his new rules can bee found here:
Carlin's Rules for 2007

Drunk Driving to the Extreme

Seriously, is EVERYONE drinking and driving these days??
This is really taking it to the extreme though, to say the least.

I hear they also found a bag of coke in one of the astronaut's flight suit pockets.

My New Underwear

I just bought a new pack of undies for running in (yes, I had to point that out because they are briefs and I only wear briefs for jogging in.) Anyway... as you will see in the picture below, my new skivvies came in a high tech re-sealable package!!!
I cannot tell you how damn excited I am....when I get done with a nice long jog I can remove my underwear and put them pack in the package they came in so that I can store them until laundry day. Ingenious!!!! Way to go Jockey...you've won me over for life!!

Hmmmm......anyone sense the sarcasm??

Seriously??? A re-sealable pack of underwear?? talk about taking marketing gimmicks a little too far.
"Well I was trying to decide between the Jockey and the Calvin Klein and it all came down to whether or not I could re-use the packaging or not."
You know this thought went through some marketing "genius'" head.
"What is one way we can one up our competitors?...Hmmmm....Let's give the consumer a package that they can use to pack a sandwich in their lunch once they have removed the underwear!!" "Brilliant work Doonigan...a big fat raise for you!!"

Honestly...
What were they thinking?

Being Godly

It's all about doing as God would do.
I don't want to say "puts things into perspective", but when you think about all those people sporting their WWJD goods, do they ever stop to think "what would Jesus really do?"
Probably why I like this guy's comics so much. The little kid just always has insightful questions for people regarding religion, etc. Questions that smart little kids would ask, but for some reason adults stop asking or never did ask. baaaaaahhhhhhh
Rather than just making man change their sinful ways, God decides to kill everyone off and start over new each time, but never does he/she address the initial problem itself.

More than half-way

So here I am more than half way through the 5 week sabbatical that I had mentioned previously, and I know it has been hard to keep up with all that I have been posting during that time like I said I would......wait...WHAT?!?!?!
Yeah, I suck, what can I say. The weather has been great up until this week, so I have been outdoors quite a bit and my skin is pealing off lately as proof. I finished a 600 page book, went hiking, running, and was out just playing tourist in my own city. I've got lots of new pictures to prove it as well. Check them out HERE. Mostly all street art and random buildings.

So now I am panicking about what to do over the next 2 weeks so that I can officially say "Here is the crowning achievement of my sabbatical from work". In all honesty....having a lazy 5 weeks not doing shit actually sounds like a crowning achievement to me. Ask anyone you might know that works there, but 5 years at my job is like 10 anywhere else. You wanna talk about fast-paced, ever-changing and hectic/stressful as all hell.......not that I'm complaining, I love my job. I just needed this break and to be quite frank, I think I am glad that I didn't take this time off trying to find my way around Europe.

Anyway......now I am just blabbering.
So I am off to see if I can find more weirdos making out with trees.
Forgot to write about that one.....
I honest to god saw a lady making out with a tree the other day.
She was french kissing the damn thing and even reaching around to grab it's tree ass.
And of course it was when I was without a camera DAMNIT!!!
(Yes, she was high as a kite and probably thought it really was another person.)
Cheers,

Transformers Attack!!!!

Holy shit!1 They are real and they've attacked Manhattan!!!

Cup em ever so lightly

You know one of her parents put her up to it and then took the picture.

Comics strips rock!!!

Hmmm....something weird going on and I cannot create title today for some reason.
Oh well.....just wanted to share some comics I stumbled across today (literally...found them via Stumble Upon).
Pretty corny, but I love that type of stupid humor.
You can check out the site that creates them HERE!!

A joyous moment

I don't mean to sound like a complete ass and I am very happy that this guy is free, but this is the best headline that CNN could come up with??

On Sabbatical....

So guess who has the next 5 weeks off from work?
Yep, me.
My wonderful employer decided that every 5 years you are with the company, you get a month sabbatical to just relax and recharge the old batteries. So I decided to add an extra week to those 4 weeks and play tourist in my own city, hang out at the beach and wander around "treasure" hunting in the city with the old camera.

This will give me some time to post more frequently here and get some new stuff up on flickr as well.
Speaking of......got back from NYC about 10 days ago and pics are up from that trip.
Here they are: CLICK ME!!

Stay tuned......
Also, if you are interested, my StumbleUpon blog gets updated much more frequently than this one. Check it out HERE
by the way....if you are not a member yet, SU is the greatest thing since sliced bread, but be careful....it's as bad as minesweeper or solitaire when it comes to addiction and wasting time.

Keep on Rockin!!!!

At one point in my life I would have seen these guys and thought that they were AWESOMENESS in a bucket. Now that i look back.....I was right....these guys ARE awesomeness in a bucket!!! ROCK ON GUYS...err...girls...err guys....uhhhh Whatever!!!

Incest Aprons!!!

The things you can find at the dollar store.
This apron takes cooking to a whole new level.