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Blog Action Day

Do something folks.....anything, even the smallest of things helps, at least put forward an effort. There is no excuse not to do something to help save the environment.

Guillermo bumps into Bourne

This is just too good.
Funny, even if you don't know the back story, but even funnier if you do.
Try Googling Damon & Kimmel.

Fantasy Warlord van

This post really needs absolutely no words whatsoever. I don't think any words could even come close to describing the absolute sheer awesomeness of the following photos.
You hear about vans like this, sometimes see them on TV or in movies, but never in real life with your own eyes.
Today I witnessed this van myself and took pictures to share with the world. The bottom picture looks a little messed up because the back door was open slightly.....I think someone is living in this van!!

It doesn't fit in.....

I know it doesn't fit in, but just watch and listen intently. I can be serious every now and again.
There is no yelling, no accusing, no hate and no blame; just talking, pointing out facts and things that should be obvious when there is not a big black book being held up over your eyes.

Carlin's Thoughts for 2007

George Carlin issued his thoughts for 2007 last November and these are a few of my favorites.

- Stop giving me that pop-up ad for classmates.com ! There's a reason you don't talk to people for 25 years. Because you don't particularly like them! Besides, I already know what the captain of the football team is doing these days . . mowing my lawn.

- If you need to shave and you still collect baseball cards, you're a dope. If you're a kid, the cards are keepsakes of your idols. If you're a grown man, they're pictures of men.

- The more complicated the Starbucks order, the bigger the asshole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a "decaf grande half-soy, half-low fat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n'-Low, and one NutraSweet," ooh, you're a huge asshole.

- Just because your tattoo has Chinese characters in it doesn't make you spiritual. It's right above the crack of your ass. And it translates to "beef with broccoli." The last time you did anything spiritual, you were praying to God you weren't pregnant. You're not spiritual. You're just high. (and yes, I have one)

- No more bathroom attendants. After I zip up, some guy is offering me a towel and a mint like I just had sex with George Michael. I can't even tell if he's supposed to be there, or just some freak with a fetish. I don't want to be on your web cam, dude. I just want to wash my hands.

- When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to know in months. "27 Months." "He's two," will do just fine. He's not a cheese. And I didn't really care in the first place.

The rest of his new rules can bee found here:
Carlin's Rules for 2007

Drunk Driving to the Extreme

Seriously, is EVERYONE drinking and driving these days??
This is really taking it to the extreme though, to say the least.

I hear they also found a bag of coke in one of the astronaut's flight suit pockets.

My New Underwear

I just bought a new pack of undies for running in (yes, I had to point that out because they are briefs and I only wear briefs for jogging in.) Anyway... as you will see in the picture below, my new skivvies came in a high tech re-sealable package!!!
I cannot tell you how damn excited I am....when I get done with a nice long jog I can remove my underwear and put them pack in the package they came in so that I can store them until laundry day. Ingenious!!!! Way to go Jockey...you've won me over for life!!

Hmmmm......anyone sense the sarcasm??

Seriously??? A re-sealable pack of underwear?? talk about taking marketing gimmicks a little too far.
"Well I was trying to decide between the Jockey and the Calvin Klein and it all came down to whether or not I could re-use the packaging or not."
You know this thought went through some marketing "genius'" head.
"What is one way we can one up our competitors?...Hmmmm....Let's give the consumer a package that they can use to pack a sandwich in their lunch once they have removed the underwear!!" "Brilliant work Doonigan...a big fat raise for you!!"

Honestly...
What were they thinking?

Being Godly

It's all about doing as God would do.
I don't want to say "puts things into perspective", but when you think about all those people sporting their WWJD goods, do they ever stop to think "what would Jesus really do?"
Probably why I like this guy's comics so much. The little kid just always has insightful questions for people regarding religion, etc. Questions that smart little kids would ask, but for some reason adults stop asking or never did ask. baaaaaahhhhhhh
Rather than just making man change their sinful ways, God decides to kill everyone off and start over new each time, but never does he/she address the initial problem itself.

More than half-way

So here I am more than half way through the 5 week sabbatical that I had mentioned previously, and I know it has been hard to keep up with all that I have been posting during that time like I said I would......wait...WHAT?!?!?!
Yeah, I suck, what can I say. The weather has been great up until this week, so I have been outdoors quite a bit and my skin is pealing off lately as proof. I finished a 600 page book, went hiking, running, and was out just playing tourist in my own city. I've got lots of new pictures to prove it as well. Check them out HERE. Mostly all street art and random buildings.

So now I am panicking about what to do over the next 2 weeks so that I can officially say "Here is the crowning achievement of my sabbatical from work". In all honesty....having a lazy 5 weeks not doing shit actually sounds like a crowning achievement to me. Ask anyone you might know that works there, but 5 years at my job is like 10 anywhere else. You wanna talk about fast-paced, ever-changing and hectic/stressful as all hell.......not that I'm complaining, I love my job. I just needed this break and to be quite frank, I think I am glad that I didn't take this time off trying to find my way around Europe.

Anyway......now I am just blabbering.
So I am off to see if I can find more weirdos making out with trees.
Forgot to write about that one.....
I honest to god saw a lady making out with a tree the other day.
She was french kissing the damn thing and even reaching around to grab it's tree ass.
And of course it was when I was without a camera DAMNIT!!!
(Yes, she was high as a kite and probably thought it really was another person.)
Cheers,

Transformers Attack!!!!

Holy shit!1 They are real and they've attacked Manhattan!!!

Cup em ever so lightly

You know one of her parents put her up to it and then took the picture.

Comics strips rock!!!

Hmmm....something weird going on and I cannot create title today for some reason.
Oh well.....just wanted to share some comics I stumbled across today (literally...found them via Stumble Upon).
Pretty corny, but I love that type of stupid humor.
You can check out the site that creates them HERE!!

A joyous moment

I don't mean to sound like a complete ass and I am very happy that this guy is free, but this is the best headline that CNN could come up with??

On Sabbatical....

So guess who has the next 5 weeks off from work?
Yep, me.
My wonderful employer decided that every 5 years you are with the company, you get a month sabbatical to just relax and recharge the old batteries. So I decided to add an extra week to those 4 weeks and play tourist in my own city, hang out at the beach and wander around "treasure" hunting in the city with the old camera.

This will give me some time to post more frequently here and get some new stuff up on flickr as well.
Speaking of......got back from NYC about 10 days ago and pics are up from that trip.
Here they are: CLICK ME!!

Stay tuned......
Also, if you are interested, my StumbleUpon blog gets updated much more frequently than this one. Check it out HERE
by the way....if you are not a member yet, SU is the greatest thing since sliced bread, but be careful....it's as bad as minesweeper or solitaire when it comes to addiction and wasting time.

Keep on Rockin!!!!

At one point in my life I would have seen these guys and thought that they were AWESOMENESS in a bucket. Now that i look back.....I was right....these guys ARE awesomeness in a bucket!!! ROCK ON GUYS...err...girls...err guys....uhhhh Whatever!!!

Incest Aprons!!!

The things you can find at the dollar store.
This apron takes cooking to a whole new level.

When Gestures go wrong

Holy Shit....this is so wrong and so damn FUNNY!!

What it Really means.....

Fine
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

Five Minutes
If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour.
Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

Nothing
This is the calm before the storm. This means "something" and you should be on your toes.. Arguments that begin with "nothing" usually end in "fine".

Go Ahead
This is a dare, not permission, DON'T DO IT!

Loud Sigh
Although not actually a word, the loud sigh is often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing".

That's Okay
This is one of the most dangerous statements that woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

Thanks
This is the least used of all words in the female vocabulary. If a woman is thanking you. Do not question it, just say you're welcome and back out of the room slowly.

Do Not Disturb!!

Why try to hide it....

WTF!!!!

what more can be said.....

Kids Drawings Re-imagined

This artist has redone in much higher quality drawings from children. Anything from monsters to super heroes.
Kids drawings redone

10 Reasons Gay Marriage will Ruin Society

If you don't know me personally.
Before you go any further.....please think "Satire".

10 Reasons Why Gay Marriage Will Ruin Society

1. Being gay is not natural. Real Americans ™ always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.
2. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
3. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
4. Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn’t changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can’t marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.
5. Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britany Spears’ 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.
6. Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn’t be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren’t full yet, and the world needs more children.
7. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
8. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That’s why we have only one religion in America.
9. Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That’s why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
10. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven’t adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

Drivers License Hilarity

This is too damn funny.......
The last one is side splitting.

Running Away for Real

This kid has really thought this out. I only made it half way to the neighbors the first time I packed my little suitcase and ran away in the dead of winter only wearing my pajamas and a jacket.

WTF!!!!

I just found out that they currently have no plans of releasing the Aqua Teen Hunger Force movie in Canada. They want to release it solely in the U.S. and see how it does first. So we may never get it unless it can compete with the likes of Will Ferrell, Shaya LeWho, and kid friendly NWA former front man Ice Cube.
Guess i'll wait till it comes out on DVD.

Big disappointment......BIG

You cannot say No

THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Innovative
2. Preliminary
3. Proliferation
4. Cinnamon

THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Specificity
2. Anti-constitutionalistically
3. Passive-aggressive disorder
4. Transubstantiate

THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Thanks, but I don’t want to have sex.
2. Nope, no more booze for me!
3. Sorry, but you’re not really my type.
4. Taco Bell? No thanks, I’m not hungry.
5. Good evening, officer. Isn’t it lovely out tonight?
6. Oh, I couldn’t! No one wants to hear me sing karaoke.
7. I’m not interested in fighting you.
8. Thank you, but I won’t make any attempt to dance, I have no coordination. I’d hate to look like a fool!
9. Where is the nearest bathroom? I refuse to pee in this parking lot or on the side of the road.
10. I must be going home now as I have to work in the morning.

Underwear Goes Inside The Pants!!

This is truly a classic, reminds me a lot of Bill Hicks. It is all too true, which is the sad part.

RIAA - Protecting Artist's rights

(Click to make bigger)

That's about how it goes to.....the only money artists ever make is from merchandise (that they pay for themselves) and touring. The record labels get damn near all the money from recordings. So hey, want to really support the bands you like?? .....download the CD's, but be sure to go to the concerts and buy merchandise, That's actually putting money in their pockets.

Cheers

The Movie of the Year!!!

How ya all doing.....

The first trailer had me a bit scared, but this one is easing my original apprehension a wee bit.

Now where are my freakin' pants?

Quite the Pick-up Line....

You know, it may actually just work......

Crazy Domain names

I ran across this today. All of these are legitimate companies that didn't spend quite enough time considering how their online names might appear ... and be misread!
They were probably so excited to get the name they wanted, they didn't even bother to have anyone else take a peek......but really, would you have?

These are not made up. Check them out yourself!

1. Who Represents is where you can find the name of the agent that represents any celebrity. Their web site is www.whorepresents.com

2. Experts Exchange is a knowledge base where programmers can exchange advice and views at www.expertsexchange.com

3. Looking for a pen? Look no further than Pen Island at www.penisland.net

4. Need a therapist? Try Therapist Finder at www.therapistfinder.com

5. There's the Italian Power Generator company, www.powergenitalia.com

6. And don't forget the Mole Station Native Nursery in New South Wales, www.molestationnursery.com

7. If you're looking for IP computer software, there's always www.ipanywhere.com

8. The First Cumming Methodist Church web site is www.cummingfirst.com

9. And the designers at Speed of Art await you at their wacky Web site, www.speedofart.com

Legal Drugs.....

So as I was walking home from work today, I noticed on the front page of the paper "Gang Turf War". Apparently, it is over drug turf. I guess that is pretty obvious....I don;t think gangs these days battle over anything else. It's just not like it was back in our parents day anymore when they fought over who's Chevy was faster than who's Ford or who had dibs on Mary Sue or even who had the most greasy shit in their hair dripping down onto their sweet leather jackets. I mean honestly, what did gangs back in the 50's fight about??

Anyway, the old thoughts of "if they would just legalize drugs and give government control, it would practically abolish gangs and the drug trade; plus, if they taxed the shit out of them but still charged less than dealers, every government in the world would have a goddamn surplus of funds" popped into my head. It totally makes sense, but then you have to consider the chain of events that would more than likely also occur.

I am all for just legalizing everything and telling people that it is now their own lives to fuck up. Take government funded treatment centers out of the picture, government funded aid to addicts of all sorts would just go away. Here are your drugs, if you choose to fuck up your life then do it, but we aren't helping you out so you make the decision now to either use them responsibly or to not, if you cannot use recreationaly, then you better not use at all. Addicts can turn to their families and friends for help, but we the government are not going to bail you out.

Yeah that would never happen......and what did that have to do with gangs anyway?
Okay, so gangs would all but dry up and go away because they would have nothing to fight over (yes, i know they would find other stuff that is illegal to control, but that is not the point of this rant). I can almost guarantee that murder rates would decrease dramatically everywhere; however, now we'd probably have nations full of drug addicts, the economy would go to shit because of it and the government wouldn't not be able to provide some sort of funding for addicts, so all the money made taxing the drugs would be spent on the surplus of addicts we now have. At least let big corporations fight over drugs instead of gangs. It would be nothing more than a Pepsi/Coke war. Try the new formula Crack or Cherry Vanilla Infused ecstacy (now with echinacea because those clubs are filled with the cold germ).

So.......we abolish the gang problem and people killing other people but then we come across the problem of people now killing themselves because they have no control over their human need to find artificial ways to cope with life.

Did this rant really make much sense.....NOPE, not supposed to, it was a rant. Just typing what came into my head as it popped in there.

So which is it?
Legalize Drugs and deal with the new consequences?
-or-
Keep them illegal and deal with everything that stems from the drug trade and control of it by the gangs and drug cartels?

I say legalize them and deal with the new consequences, you never know what could happen until you do something new. Too much money has been put into fighting the "drug war". Win the drug war by decriminalizing it all and if need be, take the billions you are spending yearly, plus the taxes you could make from this stuff and put it into rehab. God knows the government would never leave people out in the cold, unless they were homeless and the Olympics were coming to town in a few years.

Cheers....

I Believe!!!! FSM

Some of you may have heard random references in all different forms of media to the Flying Spaghetti Monster and had absolutely no clue what the hell they were talking about. It apparently has popped up in South Park a few times as well as many other shows on Comedy Central and even news stories in other media outlets. Well apparently it all started with a letter drenched in satire from a teacher to the Kansas School Board.
You can read that letter HERE

If you can't beat them....

I personally think this is hilarious. You realize even more how true thsi is when you are truly watching from the outside in.

Click here to Laugh at the expense of 1/2 your friends.

Homemade theme park fun!!!

This has got to be about as close to flying as one can get. I am pretty sure she had to change her pants after this. You knwo they got all the stuff to make this bad boy with at Home Depot, so you have to feel sorry for the unfortunate person that this $8 bungee cord finally breaks on. Hell of a way to die, that's for sure.

Shaa...What!!!

I think this link pretty much speaks for itself.
This is no joke either. Apparently they were founded 3 years before "Along Came Polly" popularized the term (if you can really say it was "popularized"), but it is still unfortunate. How would you feel if you had a company with a "cute" name and then 3 years later you are known as the shit fart clothing company.......man, not good. Probably doesn't help much when the "S" logo kind of looks like a dog turd.

Click to see some Schaart!!!

More bible fun.....

When you think about the bible as just any other book, it sure does make for awesome fantasy fiction.

Velociraptors are among us!!

Apparently the world has been infiltrated by Velociraptors. Did you knwo that Velociraptor attack is the 3rd leading cause of death for men ages 27-29?? You may have one living next to you and not even know it!!!
Learn how to protect yourself from Velociraptors.

Bread....the silent Killer

I found this online and would love to know at whom or at what this sarcasm was pointed?



!!! BREAD IS DANGEROUS !!!

Research on bread indicates that:

1. More than 98 percent of convicted felons are bread users.
2. Fully HALF of all children who grow up in bread-consuming households score below average on standardized tests.
3. In the 18th century, when virtually all bread was baked in the home, the average life expectancy was less than 50 years; infant mortality rates were unacceptably high; many women died in childbirth; and diseases such as typhoid, yellow fever, and influenza ravaged whole nations.

4. More than 90 percent of violent crimes are committed within 24 hours of eating bread.
5. Bread is made from a substance called "dough." It has been proven that as little as one pound of dough can be used to suffocate a mouse. The average American eats more bread than that in one month!

6. Primitive tribal societies that have no bread exhibit a low incidence of cancer, Alzheimer's, Parkinson's disease, and osteoporosis.
7. Bread has been proven to be addictive. Subjects deprived of bread and given only water to eat begged for bread after as little as two days.
8. Bread is often a "gateway" food item, leading the user to "harder" items such as butter, jelly, peanut butter, and even cold cuts.
9. Bread has been proven to absorb water. Since the human body is more than 90 percent water, it follows that eating bread could lead to your body being taken over by this absorptive food product, turning you into a soggy, gooey bread-pudding person.

10. Newborn babies can choke on bread.
11. Bread is baked at temperatures as high as 400 degrees Fahrenheit! That kind of heat can kill an adult in less than one minute.
12. Most American bread eaters are utterly unable to distinguish between significant scientific fact and meaningless statistical babbling.

In light of these frightening statistics, it has been proposed that the following bread restrictions be made:

1. No sale of bread to minors.
2. A nationwide "Just Say No To Toast" campaign, complete celebrity TV spots and bumper stickers.
3. A 300 percent federal tax on all bread to pay for all the societal ills we might associate with bread.
4. No animal or human images, nor any primary colors (which may appeal to children) may be used to promote bread usage.
5. The establishment of "Bread-free" zones around schools.

Not Happy with Verizon

I wonder what they did to piss this guy off?
Ya think it was cashed? Do you think he even really sent it in?
And is it even a real number since pi is an infinite?

Spit in my Urinal will ya.....

I keep meaning to pose this question that keeps running through my mind.
Okay, not like I am obsessing over it, but since I drink nearly a gallon of water a day I spend a lot of time in the bathroom.
I do not understand why the majority of guys all spit before in the toilet/urinal before they pee??? Why do the majority of guys do this? Can they not begin the flow without spitting first? Kind of like how the sound of running water can make people need to pee, does spitting make your little guy work better? It must be the sound of splashing toilet water!! Yeah, that's it....it's gotta be....

Mystery solved....the sound of spit hitting toilet water stimulates guys to pee.

High School Prom

Funny thing is....no one else got to see these outfits; they were totally hidden.

Best Kung Fu fight ever!!! Hands Down!!! Period!!! and many other words with exclamations after them

Ran across this today and just had to share it.
Not for the squeamish though, so be warned.


The Ultimate Fight - video powered by Metacafe

Great iPhone Commercial

Seriously, if everything is done via a touch screen, then what happens when it is up to your ear while you are talking? Is there a section in the instruction manual that instructs you to hold the phone at least 5 cm from your ear when talking? haha......

Funny...you don't look Italian

Hmmmm.........maybe they were raised in Italy??

Following the 'Couv

For all you Couv fans.
get a new perspective through a fans eyes of the Canucks Eastern roadtrip.
You'll laugh, you'll cry, maybe you'll learn some french.

Canucks Week Blog

Porno Turtle

These were just way too good not to share.
I was at Chapters yesterday looking for a book and they had this little turtle propped up on the counter.
Yeah it's his tail but it sure looks like his wang to me.




Hope this brings smile to your day.

Happy New Year

Happy New Year World!!!
May 2007 bring you one step closer to true happiness.