Bread....the silent Killer

I found this online and would love to know at whom or at what this sarcasm was pointed?



!!! BREAD IS DANGEROUS !!!

Research on bread indicates that:

1. More than 98 percent of convicted felons are bread users.
2. Fully HALF of all children who grow up in bread-consuming households score below average on standardized tests.
3. In the 18th century, when virtually all bread was baked in the home, the average life expectancy was less than 50 years; infant mortality rates were unacceptably high; many women died in childbirth; and diseases such as typhoid, yellow fever, and influenza ravaged whole nations.

4. More than 90 percent of violent crimes are committed within 24 hours of eating bread.
5. Bread is made from a substance called "dough." It has been proven that as little as one pound of dough can be used to suffocate a mouse. The average American eats more bread than that in one month!

6. Primitive tribal societies that have no bread exhibit a low incidence of cancer, Alzheimer's, Parkinson's disease, and osteoporosis.
7. Bread has been proven to be addictive. Subjects deprived of bread and given only water to eat begged for bread after as little as two days.
8. Bread is often a "gateway" food item, leading the user to "harder" items such as butter, jelly, peanut butter, and even cold cuts.
9. Bread has been proven to absorb water. Since the human body is more than 90 percent water, it follows that eating bread could lead to your body being taken over by this absorptive food product, turning you into a soggy, gooey bread-pudding person.

10. Newborn babies can choke on bread.
11. Bread is baked at temperatures as high as 400 degrees Fahrenheit! That kind of heat can kill an adult in less than one minute.
12. Most American bread eaters are utterly unable to distinguish between significant scientific fact and meaningless statistical babbling.

In light of these frightening statistics, it has been proposed that the following bread restrictions be made:

1. No sale of bread to minors.
2. A nationwide "Just Say No To Toast" campaign, complete celebrity TV spots and bumper stickers.
3. A 300 percent federal tax on all bread to pay for all the societal ills we might associate with bread.
4. No animal or human images, nor any primary colors (which may appeal to children) may be used to promote bread usage.
5. The establishment of "Bread-free" zones around schools.

Not Happy with Verizon

I wonder what they did to piss this guy off?
Ya think it was cashed? Do you think he even really sent it in?
And is it even a real number since pi is an infinite?

Spit in my Urinal will ya.....

I keep meaning to pose this question that keeps running through my mind.
Okay, not like I am obsessing over it, but since I drink nearly a gallon of water a day I spend a lot of time in the bathroom.
I do not understand why the majority of guys all spit before in the toilet/urinal before they pee??? Why do the majority of guys do this? Can they not begin the flow without spitting first? Kind of like how the sound of running water can make people need to pee, does spitting make your little guy work better? It must be the sound of splashing toilet water!! Yeah, that's it....it's gotta be....

Mystery solved....the sound of spit hitting toilet water stimulates guys to pee.

High School Prom

Funny thing is....no one else got to see these outfits; they were totally hidden.

Best Kung Fu fight ever!!! Hands Down!!! Period!!! and many other words with exclamations after them

Ran across this today and just had to share it.
Not for the squeamish though, so be warned.


The Ultimate Fight - video powered by Metacafe

Great iPhone Commercial

Seriously, if everything is done via a touch screen, then what happens when it is up to your ear while you are talking? Is there a section in the instruction manual that instructs you to hold the phone at least 5 cm from your ear when talking? haha......

Funny...you don't look Italian

Hmmmm.........maybe they were raised in Italy??

Following the 'Couv

For all you Couv fans.
get a new perspective through a fans eyes of the Canucks Eastern roadtrip.
You'll laugh, you'll cry, maybe you'll learn some french.

Canucks Week Blog

Porno Turtle

These were just way too good not to share.
I was at Chapters yesterday looking for a book and they had this little turtle propped up on the counter.
Yeah it's his tail but it sure looks like his wang to me.




Hope this brings smile to your day.

Happy New Year

Happy New Year World!!!
May 2007 bring you one step closer to true happiness.